Trying to find gratitude....It is Christmas Eve and I am working....thats it!! I was able to get everything that I needed for my children, painted a picture for my girlfriend (and framed it!!) Yes, I am thankful!! 2 years ago, I was a total mess, then.....something changed inside of me. A light began to shine, and I saw the road....the path that I was meant to take. At the age of 29, my world faded away and reality took its place. I am thankful. These 2 years have been wonderful and exciting. There have been problems, and then solutions to the problems. I sit here, by myself at my monitoring station, and think, am I really alone??.....I stopped being alone. While my family enjoys the holidays and dinners, I sit and thank my God that I was saved. That out of the darkness, my voice, my cry was heard.....Thank you God....

So I called my oldest son up and this is what he had to say about the present that I sent him. "You forgot to wrap it!!!" Ok, that is thank you enough....I am working on my girlfriends gift right now....Ok, give me a break...I am a PROCRASTINATOR!!!! It is a small painting of a couple in front of a bridge....a nice bridge!!! Mounted on handmade paper.....I will finish it tonight...Wish me luck.

I got the "Howard Stern Private Parts" CD today in the store...So I am rocking right now to Ted Nugent, Ozzy, Van Halen,.....get what I mean....miss the old stuff....Remember going to the lake jammin to Anthrax and the Beastie Boys...That was a long time ago. I hope that David has forgiven me for leaving his jacket on the car and then driving off without it....Sorry!!!

I just had a glimpse....a thought in my head...followed by the feeling in my body.....I was going to start taking care of myself physically....I saw a glimpse of what I used to look like when I was 19...all muscle....I wanna go back. The choice is mine ........ New Years resolution. Do you have any???